Wow! Its been a while. I'm going to give this a go again. I journal my Bible study every day anyway so I thought I would just put them on here. I don't even know if anyone will ever see this but I'm posting anyways.
If you want to follow along, I'm in 1 Samuel. My plan is to journal here as well as write up any opinions I may have at some point.
For today, 1 Samuel 28:20-25.
Throughout the book of 1 Samuel, I have been journaling and I continually write, "Lord, help to be more like David and less like Saul." Today is no different, I see a lot of resemblance between Saul and the world today.
Saul crumbles in fear. Was it fear of losing his kingdom to the Philistines? Did he finally realize that he could not change what God had in store for him? I think that he had been denying and living on his own power, underestimating how serious God was in removing him from his kingship. I think because so much continually went "good" for him (victories over some enemies, being king) that he doubted God. If this isn't like most of America I don't know what is. We have so much that is "good" in our lives that we doubt God. We feel as if we do not need Him. Saul had been king for many years by this point and doubted because God had not yet acted on His promise that Saul would be removed. When we don't see God moving in our time, we doubt Him. We live our "good" lives thinking we don't need God or we can do it without Him or we don't need Him, only to realize at some point (maybe even at death) that we were fooling ourselves.
I think this is why Saul was so ambitious to kill David. He was the living proof and danger of God coming through with His promise. God had announced that David would replace Saul as king over God's chosen people. If Saul could remove David then that would show that he was more powerful and bigger than God.
What we find in this passage is Saul's point of realizing that he was not bigger than God and that he needed to repent and follow God. He feared so much because he realized that there was nothing he could do to change this outcome. This was his true "Coming to God" moment.
Where are you at? Are you living your "good" life without God? Not thinking you need Him or want Him. Because at some point, you will realize that you need Him. I pray that when you realize this that it is not too late like it was for Saul.
LORD, please help me be less like Saul. I often feel as if I am the ruler of my world and forget that You are God. Remove my pride and supposed kingship of my life, for it is your's to do with as you please. Here I Am. LORD, clothe me with humility and help me live in a way that best honors and glorifies you.
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